Sunday, April 15, 2018

夢中方可永久地,接近你

            夢中方可永久地,接近你
"So that in my dreams I can forever be close to you"
                                                "After I leave" - Jacky Zheung

I had another dream about you, both me and Justin were getting ready to meet you for dinner. Both of us were excited to catch up and we felt like we haven't seen you in years...

But delay after delay meant you kept asking when we will arrive and I kept responding that we will be there soon. In my dream the expectation built and I couldn't voice how much I wanted to be able to see you again...

But, after the umpteenth time that we were delayed (amazing amount of car trouble), you sent us a message asking how much longer we will be and in my despair I realised: "But you passed away, how is this possible"

I woke up after that message, and the feeling not akin to despair and depression once again set in. I wanted so badly for the dream to continue that in my dreams I can once again look upon your face and imagine myself hearing you infectious laughter once again. 

More than anything else, I didn't want to wake up, I wanted; desperately needed to feel your company once again... Oh god, why am I torturing myself like this again.