Around this time last year I was actually pretty darn happy, I have no doubt that after the event I have romanticised the 2 weeks in Taiwan and one week in HK with TC; but to the best of my ability I want to reflect on that first night.
Despite all else I couldn't help but think to myself that night: "this has to be the most romantic nights of my life." I use the word romantic here since I can't find a more suitable word. Cycling on the empty road with her as she describes each individual landmark and their significance to her. I was mesmerised: cool air in my face, the smell of a new city and the simple pleasure of just following behind her.
I was happy.
Today, after a 3 hour long session to conclude a doomed project I felt really emotionally drained and I thought to myself - "this time last year I was in Taiwan" and promptly felt depressed because of it. Not because of the doomed relationship associations but because I thought back to the bike ride. Less than 5min into the thought I was also reminded just how much more happier my life currently is compared to 12 months ago.
For starters thanks to the exchange rate, I net significantly more than double my pay 12 months ago; and thanks to a series of events that was kick started due to my inner turmoil 9 months ago I can expect to get promoted and potentially get another significant increase in pay in the next 6 months. I'm top of my game, even if my company isn't.
I was actually involved in another relationship for almost 4 months, I ended it a month ago. LL, an UCT graduate and the ex of a old classmate of mine. She really liked me, but I guess I just needed a surrogate?
So am I happier than 12 months ago? Who knows, I certainly am not a good judgement of my own happiness since I never seem to hold onto happiness when I had it in my hands. Happiness like the sands of time seems to keep slipping between my fingers...
