I have had an interesting couple of months recently.
It seems lately I have gotten myself into one woman trouble to another in quick secessions and without really understanding how I managed to get here in the first place. While I do enjoy having a few of my friends reading this blog nowadays, I'm now also a little timid to write some of the very personal messed up shit here.
But in one such episode, I was set up by a Chinese family friend who wanted to introduce me to a girl that he thought I would "hit it off with." Much to my surprise, I did. She is an interesting person - open minded, spontaneous, and lots of fun. We chatted for hours during our first meeting and realised that there was a mutual attraction. But at the end of the day, she is just here in SA for a year and I just wasn't ready. Before long it was obvious to everyone around that she was very interested and I still remained reserved - after one incident she finally made an ultimatum and asked what she is to me. I answered as truthfully as I can - I don't know, yet. I treat her like a really good friend. Afterwards she didn't bring it up again.
"That's her boyfriend"
Someone told me couple of weeks later I was both surprised and hurt. When I inquired a bit further I she basically lined me and someone else up and when I didn't commit she moved onto number 2. I don't deny that at first all I felt was my ego being deflated, but a week after the initial shock and injured pride I thought to myself today "What the Fuck?" People wonder why I have trust issues. Here I called myself an ass hole because I thought I had hurt her feelings by not committing. She still wouldn't let me know that she already found herself another boyfriend.
I'm reminded of the one joke made by Chris Rock in one of his stand-ups. "Woman don't have platonic friends. Platonic friends are like a dick in a glass jar - break in case of emergencies."
Ladies, please be nice - I never had much trust in me to start off with. But I really do feel that you guys are starting to crush the very little I had in the first place.
EDIT: A few friends commented why I'm so pissed off at the girls response to my obvious rejection. Well, I guess I'm just being a stupid romantic this time round. I don't want to believe that you can genuinely like someone and then move onto Option B without batting an eyelash. In one sense I'm just disappointed that humans (in this case members of the fairer sex) can do that so easily. Guess the cynic in me has returned and is wondering what I'm fussing about in the first place.
MENTAL NOTE TO SELF: Kill the romantic and long live the cynic.
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