Reflections on 2010

It's that time of the year again where we all look back at the year and reflect on things that we all have and haven't done.

This year was a very interesting year, it started of pretty badly with one of the worst New Years bashes that I can safely remember. For my Chinese friends out there you will understand what I mean when I say it didn't bode well for 2010. For one thing 2009 was possibly the worst year of my short existence and I really needed a new beginning. How bad was 2009 for me? Well suffice to say that I wouldn't liked to have met me towards the end of 2009 because I was just one big arsehole.

2010, this number still seem so new to me, like I never had the opportunity to really let the year sink into my consciousness and in some way I guess it's an indication of just how high-strung and fast pace this year has been for me.

But at the same time 2010 was probably one of the best days of my life thus far.

It has been true roller coaster ride of emotions - great moments of sorrow, excitement, happiness, content, disappointment, depression, heart break and grief. I got my first real job - it has been fun, challenging and all round stress. My mother passed away - a great maelstrom of grief, relief and confusion - goodbye mother.

I made a lot of new friends - something that I haven't done and haven't really needed to do in a long time. Looking back now I'm very surprised by the type of company that I've chosen to keep.

For the first time I presented my heart and soul to someone on a silver platter - but she didn't even realised that I did, or truly appreciated how momentous it was for me. Then again to be fair, neither did I until the end - here I learnt the meaning of inconsolable.

2010 has been my finest hour, it has forever redefined me in ways that I will continue to discover. I'm not naive enough to think that the experiences of the last year made me stronger or better - that would just be a rationalisation. It has merely changed me, I "weathered" the storm and come out a different person.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you here that has been part of 2010. Some of you I will forever be grateful for. Others I would like to thank you for your best of intentions, but just to say that you have no idea how close you were to being beaten to a bloody pulp. Still, I guess intentions count towards something and so - I salute you all.

Lastly to that certain someone, I can never hate you or really hold a grudge but damn you for what you did to me, for without trying or knowing you have changed me into someone that I once hated. There is one thing that I can thank you for without any sarcasm and or ill intent - because to me it has now become a simple fact (even if it's only my continued delusions):

I can do better.