4am - Insomnia
I remembered how less than 6 months ago it felt like that life has just started. The excitement of it all, how the evening moon mixed with the unmistakable smell of Summer transported me into a vision of a future that grows brighter by the second. That there is a whole new world out there, unexplored, untamed just waiting for my pleasure.
I'm also reminded how only 3 months before that - I experienced months of lethargic emotions. I can almost suspect myself of being bipolar.
Work is now more fulfilling than any point in time, I rub shoulders with all the senior execs on both sides of the conference table and earned my place in the upper echelons of the firm. This was what I always wanted. But each time I opened my apartment door and step in - it seems so empty, so lonely and so depressing.
I kill time - that's what I do now; instead of enjoying my new found wealth to the fullest I found myself merely content to vegetate in front of the computer monitor....wasting away. Activities that once filled me with such wonder and excitement now seem grey and sad.
Somehow, you took all the joy in my life from me. I know not of how and why. Merely that since I lost you - the colours drained away in my world. This gray-scale world devoid of joy is the one that return to; day after day.
How is that possible? I've accepted and swallowed many hard truths in the months passed. The bitterness of them, now a distant memory and yet my world was as you left it still: joyless, silent, and colourless.
No comments:
Post a Comment