B, normally by this time I would be plotting ways to win your heart, simply because it's what I do.
I can now fully admit that during my previous 2 relationships with TC and with LL that I thought about the possibility of the two of us together. The thought was quickly crushed each time. Now that I'm single, you are now back in Johannesburg, we are spending more time than ever, we share a lot of common interests and the hours spent talking about nothing and everything. Even with all that, your body language was more than curious. I would get closer, you don't retreat; but there was no sign that you want to come closer.
I can't say I was all that surprised that you turned me down. It's understandable even, so much baggage has now come between us after so long. Our respective ex's are close friends of ours.
My time with you is so reminiscence of my time with AC, such familiarity and comfort that I feel...safe? This time though the reverse is true, I'm your senior by 4 years and I'm the established one while you are the one who is busy starting.
But B, this time round I'm actually scared and also lacking the courage or will to continue your pursue. On Sunday's hike I met two incredibly attractive and incredible ladies whom I made a quick and fascinating connection with. I guess I'm trying to say that life is too short?
I want to break the cycle. Every time I found
myself drawn to a female friend whom I have known well for a while and
felt a strong tug on the strings of my heart, it has never ended well with me.
If it belongs to you, set it free and it come back to you
JC once told me that line, I was very skeptical but now I actually believe it; or perhaps I want to believe in it?
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